Warhammer Wednesday – 5 Arguments Against Female Astartes

Warhammer Wednesday – 5 Arguments Against Female Astartes

March 13, 2019 Off By Jess

You can’t change the LORE!

Never in the history of Games Workshop has any of the lore or fiction changed. Necrons have always been exactly the way they are. Orks have always grown from fungus. T’au have been around since the start. Certainly Leman Russ has always been a son of the Emperor possessed of godlike power.

Look wider afield. The fantasy element of Games Workshop certainly wasn’t blown up and reformed. I remember playing Age of Sigmar all those years ago and certainly don’t recall Bretonnia existing. With this in mind the addition of female astartes is plainly absurd.

 

Space Magic doesn’t work like that

Why would it? It seems ridiculous that a universe in which a ship enters unreality itself to travel; would also have artificial organs that work for women. The god Emperor of Humanity is the finest scientist and engineer ever to walk the Earth. If it was possible to make women into superhuman fighting machines he would have.

What next? Some guy hiding away on Mars for 10,000 years making bigger and better marines? Entirely new types of Power Armour? The idea the universe could support void shields is plausible, women as Space Marines? Pffft, no.

 

Mind bullets

It’s simple when you think about it.

 

No one wants them

At least no one who doesn’t want them, wants them. That guy who posts funny memes about Angry Marines and Sisters of Battle being prostitutes doesn’t want them. The guys at the club who are obviously the leading authority on community opinion don’t want them. Literally no one wants them.

I mean there are people who SAY they want them but they aren’t real fans. Some of them are even feminists who just want to destroy the hobby, or white knights wanting to impress the ladies. Look at the facts, no real 40k players want them.

 

Women aren’t stong enough

It’s just common sense really. There are no women athletes or soldiers in the real world doing amazing feats of endurance. This is such a fundamental and universally acknowledged truth it just doesn’t make sense to have superhuman women, even in fiction. Just look at Supergirl, Wonder Woman, Captain Marvel, Black Widow… entirely ridiculous characters no one would ever read fiction about.

It isn’t just physical strength. Emotionally women just couldn’t handle it. Men on the other hand are emotionally stable and ooze mental fortitude. Just look at men such as Boris Johnson or Brett Kavanaugh.

 

Chaos space marines

Daemons, mutation, possession, chaos incarnate! No girls allowed.

 

ANGRY SHOUTING!

ARRRGH! LISTEN TO ME! I HAVE MEME! BLARRRGHHLR MAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH SPACE MARINES! GAMES WORKSHOP PANDERING SJW. RUIN EVERYTHING. WHY HATE MEN GRRRRRUUUUUMMMPPPPP ARRRGGJJA CENUNURVUOWRVNWRNI X XNNCXPOW;W;W BBBBBBA;ODK23O=LKOPMWEPFN!11!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!1! LISTEN TO ENENQWJU MMMEEEEE I AM YOUR NEW LOGIC, LOOOOOVVEEEE MEEE AND DESPAIR.

 

In Summary

There are many reasons to oppose the introduction of Women into the ranks of the Adeptus Astartes. None of them are even remotely interesting or hold up to scrutiny. The sooner we have equality in the ranks of superhuman warriors, the sooner we can work on completing the feminist agenda to ruin 40k with interesting characters and dynamic stories.